Sunday, June 5, 2011

This blog, this life

When I started this blog, I had the idea that I wanted it to be a really great quilting blog. I had been frantically sewing quilts and looking around the 'net' surfing some really great quilting blogs. I wanted mine to be like that too. It hasn't turned out like that. And you know what? I don't mind.
Recently I've been thinking about my little family and my new roll as a mummy. I always said that I wasn't going to get married or have kids. I was just going to ride horses. Buy, ride and sell horses. That was how I had planned it.
When I met Ben who is now my husband, I didn't really think about how much my life would change. I was happy to move to WA. I had moved around most of my life. I was pretty nomadic once I left home. No ties, no real belongings, just clothes and a passport. I didn't even contemplate marriage or kids at the time.
Funny how things change and all of a sudden I was the one proposing. I was the one thinking about kids. But I still never thought much about the overall upheaveal of my life and how much it would change.
After I had William I was in a pretty dark place. I didn't think that my life would be that different. While I was pregnant with him I had this idea that the baby would be in its room, come out for feeding then go back in. That idea went out the window the day I bought him home from hospital! I remember putting him in that cot and he was so tiny (well all nine pound five of him!) and that he looked like a little tiny pea in a huge bed. He slept in our room till he was six months old.
My life is so different now. My priorities are different. I think that I have been trying to make sure things didn't change, but I can't. My life has changed, just like my idea for this blog has changed!
I love my kids, I love that I am their mummy.
I don't want them to feel as though they came second to other things. I want them to feel important to me, to have fun, to enjoy being kids.
I'm reading a book at the moment called Life is a Verb by Patti Digh. For some reason I thought it was a novel! It's not but I'm really enjoying it. I'm also reading Seven Cherubs blog at the moment. I'm loving the Happieness Project. I'm loving the ideas for being happier and having a happy home.
I'm trying to make my home happier by making it simpler. I'm slowly decluttering, throwing away, changing, painting, cleaning rooms. It's feeling happier and I think it is feeding to my kids.
So basically, this blog isn't so much about quilting anymore as it is about my journey to a happier family, happier life, happier me.


Jessica said...

You have to be true to yourself! Life is hard enough without trying to keep up with others.
My hubby and I weren't going to have kids, yet here we are with 2 boys (by choice). I used to sew flat out just so I would have something to blog about but now I am trying to do what I want to sew and not get caught up in any hype about what others are doing. And the kids grow up so quickly it would be a shame to miss it so that is the main priority!

Evelyn Jackson said...

What a beautiful story. I feel you too. I never saw myself getting married let alone having kids. But along came Eddie. Not my type and totally smitten by me (which I usually hate). I tried for 2 weeks to get rid of him but he stuck by me. Next thing I knew I was in love and engaged by 7mths. We moved to Sydney, bought a house, got 2 dogs, had a baby, moved back to Melbourne and had another baby. I sometimes feel suffocated with my life. That I am never without one or both kids with me. I find that truly difficult. I love them both, they are both cute but I love me too. I am a better mum when I get to spend some time alone. Thanks for sharing xo